Where are my golf balls?
Anyone seen my sun block?
What's the point of going to Florida if you use sun block?
I don't care, I'm getting toasted.
Great. Now you can be a skag with a darker shade of skin.
He's jealous because he can't tan. His freckles just connect.
Hey, hey, easy on the fluids! The rubber sheets are packed.
She wants "Ding".
Behind "Ding" is 200 points!
All right!
That gives you 4700 points.
200 points! All right!
Honey, are you packed yet?
Yes.
Everything I put out?
Yes.
Oh, did you see what Grandma sent you?
Let me guess. Donald Duck slippers?
Close.
Inflatable clown to play with in the pool.
How exciting.
Why Florida? There's no Christmas trees in Florida.
What is it with Christmas trees?
How can you have Christmas without a Christmas tree?
We'll find a nice fake silver one. Or decorate a palm tree.
Guests of "Ding, Dang, Dong" stay at the world-renowned Plaza Hotel:
New York's most exciting hotel experience.
For reservations, call toll-free, 1-800-759...
- Where's the camcorder battery? - I put it in the charger.
How's this?
Oh, much better.
Kevin, put your tie on. We'll be late for the Christmas pageant.
It's in the bathroom. I can't go in. Uncle Frank's taking a shower.
He says if I walk in there and see him naked, I'd never feel like a real man.
Whatever that means.
I'm sure he was kidding. Just run in and get your tie...
get out, and don't look at anything.
Well
This cat they're talking about I wonder who, could it be
'Cause I know I'm the heaviest cat
The heaviest cat you ever did see
When they see me Walkin' down the street
None of the fellas want to speak Hey, hey, hey
On their faces they wear a silly smirk 'Cause they know
I'm the king Of the cool jerks
Get out of here, you pervert, or I'll slap you silly!
Oh, you're cooking, Frankie.
Christmas tree My Christmas tree
Lit up like a star
When I see My Christmas tree
Can loved ones be far
Christmas tree I'm certain
Wherever I roam
Kevin's solo's coming up. Tell Leslie.
Kevin's solo's coming up. Tell Frank.
Okay. Frank.
Frank!
Christmastime means laughter
Toboggans in the snow
Caroling together
With faces aglow
Stockings on the mantel
A wreath on the door
And my merriest Christmas
Needs just one thing more
Christmas tree
My Christmas tree
Kevin!
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...
I'd like to apologize for whatever displeasure...
- I might have caused you. - What?
My prank was immature and ill-timed.
Immature or not, it was pretty darn hilarious.
I also apologize to my brother.
Kevin.
I'm sorry.
Oh, Buzz...
that was very nice.
Kevin, do you have something to say?
Beat that, you trout-sniffer.
I'm not sorry. I did it because Buzz humiliated me.
He gets away with everything, so I got him.
Since you stupidly believe his lies...
I don't care if your Florida trip is wrecked.
Who wants to spend Christmas in a tropical climate?
Kevin!
You walk out, you sleep on the 3rd floor.
Yeah, with me.
So, what else is new?
Don't wreck my trip. Your dad's paying good money for it.
Wouldn't want to spoil your fun, Mr. Cheapskate.
What a troubled young man.
They're all a bunch of jerks.
Hi.
Last time we tried to take a trip, we had a problem just like this.
Yeah, with me getting crapped on.
I don't care for your choice of words. That's not what happened.
Buzz apologized to you.
Yeah, then he called me a trout-sniffer.
He didn't mean it. He was just sucking up to you.
Okay, why don't you just sit up here and think things over?
When you're ready to apologize to everyone, you can come down.
I'm not apologizing to Buzz. I'd rather kiss a toilet seat!
Then stay up here all night.
I don't want to go down anyway! I can't trust anybody in this family.
You know what? If I had my own money, I'd go on my own vacation.
Alone, without any of you. And I'd have the most fun of my whole life.
You got your wish last year. Maybe you will this year.
I hope so.
- We did it again! - We did it again!
Our McCallisters here, other McCallisters there.
I shouldn't complain, but you give the worst wake-up calls.
- Do you have the tickets? - I've got them. Here's your family's.
- How many do you have? - Seven.
- We have seven. - 14!
Seven...
eight...
- nine, ten. - How come we're not sitting together?
This time of year, we're lucky to get on the same plane. 11, 12, 13.
Where's Kevin?
14.
Good thing I have my own ticket, just in case you try to ditch me.
- Come on. - I need batteries.
I'll give them to you on the plane.
- Here's two more. - Why not now?
Not now! What's the gate number?
H-17.
Better hurry, it's the last gate. Dad, what gate is it?
H-17, Buzz. Come on, Kevin.
Kevin, you gonna take my bag? Take my bag.
Come on. Come on.
American Airlines flight 226 to New York...
is now in the final boarding process.
Come on. Come on!
Dad, wait up!
Wait up!
Wait!
Come on, come on!
Dad, wait!
Here we are! Here!
We made it.
Everybody here? We made it? All right.
Please board, the plane's leaving.
- I'll make sure everyone gets on. - We'll get everyone on.
Merry Christmas. Have a nice flight.
Bye. - Bye-bye.
Hey, wait up!
Hey, guys, wait for me!
- Cutting it kind of close. - Yes.
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Wait!
- I'm sorry. - That's okay. Are you on this flight?
Yeah. My family's on the plane. I don't want to be left here.
- Do you have a boarding pass? - Somewhere...
They're ready to go.
He dropped his pass.
This happened to me last year and almost wrecked my Christmas.
You sure your family's onboard?
My dad ran in right before I bumped into this lady.
Board him. Make sure he locates his family before you leave him.
Okay. Come on.
Do you see your family?
There's my dad.
- Find an empty seat. Merry Christmas. - You too.
In order to push back from the gate...
all passengers must have their seat belts fastened.
So have you ever been to Florida?
Welcome aboard American Airlines flight 176 non-stop to New York.
I didn't think we'd make it.
Something wrong?
Honey?
I have that feeling.
We forgot something?
No, I don't think we did, but I just have that feeling.
Just bad memories.
We did everything, brought everything. We have everybody.
There's nothing to worry about.
Yeah. Yeah, you're right. You're right. We're fine.
Nothing to worry about.
Mom?
Dad?
Uncle Frank?
Buzz?
We're the last ones off the plane.
Where are those guys?
Is this Megan's? It's Brooke's.
Give this to Brooke, this to Kevin.
- Give thisGive this to Kevin. - Give this to Kevin.
Give this to Kevin.
- Kevin. - Kevin.
- Give this to Kevin. - Give this to Kevin.
- Kevin.
- Give this to Kevin. - Here you go, Kevin.
- Kevin's not here. - Kevin's not here.
Kevin's not here.
What!
Kevin!
Excuse me, this is an emergency!
Yes, sir?
What city is that?
That's New York.
Yikes, I did it again!
Something wrong, sir?
I'll be fine.
Oh, no. My family's in Florida and I'm in New York.
My family's in Florida?
I'm in...
New York?
Wow.
What's the child's name?
- Kevin. - K-E-V-I-N.
When did you see him last?
Curbside check-in?
No, I saw him at the door. He was with us in the terminal.
Most people get separated at security. Did everyone get through security?
I don't know. Peter...
We were in a hurry. We ran all the way to the gate.
When did you notice he was missing?
When we picked up our baggage here.
- Has the boy ever run away from home? - No.
Has he ever been in a situation on his own?
As a matter of fact, this has happened before.
It's becoming a McCallister family travel tradition.
Funnily enough, we never lose our luggage.
He was left at home, by accident, last year.
That's what my wife meant calling it a McCallister family travel tradition.
We'll call Chicago and...
notify them of the situation.
The odds are that's where he is.
Thanks.
Very unlikely he'd be anywhere else.
Watch out, kid!
Yo, where's your manifest?
Here we are, Marv, New York City.
The land of opportunity.
Smell that?
Yeah.
Know what that is?
- Fish. - It's freedom.
No, it's fish.
- It's freedom and it's money. - Okay, okay.
It's freedom.
Come on, let's go before someone sees us.
And it's fish.
Yes, one quick score.
We get ourselves some phony passports...
and we hightail it to some foreign country.
Arizona?
That's very smart, Marv.
You bust out of jail to rob 14 cents from a Santy Claus?
Every bit helps.
Besides, now we got our new nickname.
We're the Sticky Bandits!
Real cute.
Very cute.
"The Plaza Hotel. New York's most exciting hotel experience."
Sick!
What's the matter?
Thought I saw something.
Serves you right! Come on, let's go.
I think she likes me.
Ahh.
Excuse me, where's the lobby?
- Down the hall and to the left. - Thanks.
Wow.
Guests of the new "Celebrity Ding-Dang-Dong"...
stay at the world-renowned Plaza Hotel:
New York's most exciting hotel experience.
For reservations, call toll-free...
1-800-759-3000.
I'll do just that.
Howdy-do. This is Peter McCallister. The father.
I'd like a hotel room.
With an extra-large bed, a TV...
and one of those little refrigerators with a key.
Credit card? You got it.
Plaza Reservations, may I help you?
Howdy-do. This is Peter McCallister.
The father.
- Yes, sir. - I'd like a hotel room.
- Yes. - With an extra-large bed, a TV...
and one of those little refrigerators with a key.
You'll need a major credit card.
Credit card? You got it.
Thank you. Enjoy your stay.
Yes, two at eight, Henri. Mr. Yamamoto.
Hold on a second.
I'll call you back.
Hi.
Can I help you?
Reservation for McCallister.
A reservation for yourself?
My feet are hardly touching the ground. I can barely see over the counter.
How can I make a reservation for a room?
Think about it: A kid going into a hotel making a reservation?
I don't think so.
I'm confused.
I'm traveling with my dad. He's on business. He's at a meeting.
I hate meetings. I'm not allowed to go in, only to sit in the lobby.
That's boring.
So my dad dropped me off.
Gave me his credit card and said to have check-in...
let me in the room so I won't get into mischief.
Ma'am, sometimes I do get into mischief.
We all do.
Merry Christmas.
No sign of him.
We'll need to be in touch. You have hotel rooms?
- Yeah. - Do you have a recent photo of him?
I have one in my wallet.
I don't have my wallet.
My wallet's in my bag.
Kevin was looking in my bag at the airport. He has my wallet.
- Did you have credit cards? - Credit cards, money...
We'll notify the credit card companies.
If your son has the cards, we can get a location on him when he uses them.
I don't think he knows how to use a credit card.
Wow! It worked!
- Cedric. - Yes?
- Don't count your tips in public. - I'm sorry.
And find out everything you can about that young fellow.
Front, please!
Enjoy your stay with us.
Don't forget to remind your dad, when he arrives...
he must come down and sign a couple of things.
- Thank you, you've been helpful. May I take your bag?
Up here to your left.
Herbert Hoover once stayed on this floor.
The vacuum guy?
No, the president.
This is one of our finest suites, sir.
This is great!
Wow! A huge bed just for me!
Luxurious and spacious.
How convenient.
Hey.
Did you want the key in the bag? Or did you want to hang on to it?
I'll hang on to it.
Everything all right?
- Is the temperature okay? - It's okay.
- Do you know how the TV works? - I'm 10 years old. TV's my life.
Well...
I'm sorry.
And there's plenty more where that came from.
Thank you.
Would you mind if I worked on my cannonballs?
No.
Thanks.
Yikes!
This is a vacation.
Hold it right there!
It's me, Johnny.
I knew it was you.
I could smell you getting off the elevator.
- Two scoops, sir? - Two? Make it three, I'm not driving.
Gardenias, Johnny, your favorite. - Thank you.
You was here last night too, wasn't you?
I was singing at the Blue Monkey last night.
She was not. She was smooching your brother.
You was here and you was smooching with my brother.
That's a dirty lie. - See?
Don't give me that. You been smooching everybody!
Snuffy, Al, Leo...
Little Moe with the gimpy leg, Cheeks, Boney Bob, Cliff...
I could go on forever, baby.
You have me all wrong!
All right...
I believe you.
But my Tommy gun don't!
Johnny!
You're the only duck in my pond!
Get down on your knees and tell me you love me.
Baby! I'm over the moon for you!
You gotta do better than that!
If my love was an ocean, Lindy'd have to take two planes to get across it.
Maybe I'm off my hinges, but I believe you.
That's why I'm letting you go.
I'm gonna give you till the count of three, to get your lousy...
lying...
lowdown, four-flushing carcass out my door!
She's rat bait.
One!
Two!
Three!
Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
And a Happy New Year.
Housekeeping.
We know a guy who can do the cool jerk
This cat they're talkin' about
I wonder who could it be
'Cause I know I'm the heaviest cat
The heaviest cat you ever did see
When they see me Walkin' down the street
None of the fellas want to speak Hey, hey, hey
On their faces they wear a silly smirk 'Cause they know
I'm the king of the cool jerks
Get out of here, you pervert, or I'll slap you silly!
Uh...
Oh, you're cooking, Frankie.
Oh, my foot!
Didn't look this bad on our honeymoon.
Uncle Rob lives here.
If they're back from Paris, I'll drop in on them.
They usually give pretty good presents.
Good night, Mom.
Good night, Kevin.
Your drawers, sir.
Don't flash these babies around here! There could be girls on this floor!
I was very careful, sir.
You can't be too careful with underwear.
I understand.
I'm sorry. You wanted a tip.
That won't be necessary, sir. I still have some tip left over.
No tip?
Okay.
No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait!
The doorman will be happy to find you a taxi...
Mr. McCallister.
Excuse me.
Sure.
And how are we this morning?
- Fine. Is my transportation here? - Out in front, sir.
A limousine and a pizza.
Compliments of the Plaza Hotel.
I do hope your father understands that last night...
I was simply checking to see that everything was in order.
Oh, he was pretty mad.
He was?
He said he didn't come here to have his naked rear spied on.
Of course not.
Will he be down soon?
He already left.
I would've liked to have offered my personal apology.
If a guy saw you in the shower, would you want to see him?
I suppose not.
I don't think you'll see him again.
I understand.
Bye.
Have a lovely day.
McCallister...
- Good morning, Mr. McCallister. - Morning.
Mr. McCallister, here's your very own...
cheese pizza.
- Hello? - Hello.
Know any good toy stores?
Yes, sir.
Ahh.
Bingo!
Get outta here! Go on, get outta here! Get outta here!
Beat it! Beat it! Get outta here!
Hey, Marv! Get over here! I gotta talk to you!
Whoa, whoa!
- Would you like a scarf? - Forget about that, we gotta talk.
We don't have the equipment to pull off anything big: Banks, jewelry stores...
We don't want goods. We need cash and we need it now.
How about...
hotels?
Tourists carry lots of cash.
I got a better idea. Stores ain't depositing cash on Christmas Eve.
The stores that will have cash are the ones dealing in moderate priced goods.
Right. Right.
Ergo, what store's gonna make the most cash on Christmas Eve...
that nobody's gonna rob?
Candy stores.
Nine-year-olds rob candy stores.
This is what I had in mind:
That's brilliant, Harry! Brilliant!
Nobody's dumb enough to knock off a toy store on Christmas Eve.
Oh, yes, there is.
Here we are, sir: Duncan's Toy Chest.
Merry Christmas, Kevin.
This is the greatest accident of my life.
Marv. Marv!
Hey, nice house. But there's no bathroom in it.
So, what's the plan?
Everyone leaves for a holiday off. We come out of our houses.
Yeah, then what?
We empty the registers and walk out.
Great plan, Harry!
Well, now, thank you and Merry Christmas.
Say hello to the family.
Let me see.
You shopping alone?
In New York? Sir, I'm afraid of my own shadow.
- I was just checking. - That's very responsible of you.
Oh, well, thank you.
My pleasure.
That'll be $23.75.
My, my, my. Where did you get all that money?
- I have a lot of grandmothers. - Oh.
Well, that explains it.
This is a nice store. One of the finer toy dealerships I've visited.
Well, thank you.
Mr. Duncan must be a nice guy...
letting kids come in here and play with his toys.
Most toy stores prohibit that.
- Is that so? - Yes.
Well, he loves kids.
As a matter of fact, all the money the store takes in today...
Mr. Duncan is donating to the Children's Hospital.
And the day after Christmas...
we empty out all the money in the cash register...
and Mr. Duncan takes it right down to the hospital.
That's generous of him.
Well, children bring him a lot of joy...
as they do to everyone who appreciates them.
I'm not supposed to spend this, but I have $20 in a jar in our garage...
where my brother can't find it. So I can pay my mother back.
So give this to Mr. Duncan. The hospital needs it more than I do.
Besides, I'll probably spend it on stuff that will rot my teeth and mind.
Ah, that's... That's very sweet of you.
You see that tree there?
Well, to show our appreciation for your generosity...
I'll let you select an object from that tree...
- to take home with you. - For free?
- May I make a suggestion? - Okay.
Take the turtledoves.
I can have two?
Well, "two turtledoves". And I tell you what you do.
You keep one...
and give the other one to a very special person.
You see, turtledoves...
are a symbol of friendship and love.
Now, as long as each of you have your turtledove...
you'll be friends forever.
Wow, I never knew that. I thought they were just part of a song.
They are. And for that very special reason.
Wow.
Thanks.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas to you too.
Be sure to bundle up if you go outside. It's nippy.
Oh. I'll do that.
Well, where to?
You promised you'd take me to the Central Park Zoo.
Hey, look who it is.
Come on, let's get him.
Hi, pal.
Come on.
Hey!
Hey, watch it, man!
Buy now and avoid the Christmas rush. Two for $5. Two for $5.
Four for 10.
There he is!
All right.
- Thanks. - Merry Christmas, dude.
Whoa!
Oh...
Yes!
Thank you for your suggestion. My duty. My pleasure.
Help! There's two guys after me!
What's the matter? Store wouldn't take your...
stolen credit card?
Let's see what the police have to say about this.
Get up! Get up!
Come on! Let's go get him.
Get back here, you little thief!
Stop that child!
Grab him!
Whoa!
You little sh...
I've committed credit card fraud.
Get me security!
We've got to stop that delinquent!
Come along, Cedric!
I've had enough of this vacation. I'm going home.
Hold it!
This is the Concierge, sir!
I knew it was you.
I could smell you getting off the elevator.
You was here last night too, wasn't you?
Yes, sir.
I was.
You was here and you was smooching with my brother.
Bu...
You're mistaken, sir.
Don't give me that. You've smooched everybody.
Snuffy, Al, Leo, Little Moe with the gimpy leg...
Cheeks, Boney Bob, Cliff...
No!
It's a lie!
I could go on forever, baby.
I'm terribly sorry, sir.
I'm afraid you're mistaken.
We're looking for a young man.
All right, I believe you...
but my Tommy gun don't.
Get down on your knees and tell me you love me.
On your knees.
I love you!
You gotta do better than that!
I love you!
Maybe I'm off my hinges...
but I believe you.
That's why I'm gonna let you go.
I'm gonna give you till the count of three to get your lousy...
lying, low-down...
four-flushing carcass out my door!
- One! - Open the door!
Two!
Three.
Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
And a happy new year.
Stay in your rooms!